Hot Ones’ The Last Dab XXX By Heatonist Review

A week and change ago, my latest subscription box from Heatonist came in. Normally, the sauces inside are a secret, only revealed when the box is opened. However, in this one, we knew one of the sauces ahead of time. Guaranteed to be inside was a brand new bottle of the Hot Ones’ The Last Dab XXX hot sauce. It’s the sauce used on the final wing on Hot Ones’ season 10. So, I’ve watched people for a couple weeks try this sauce and have it kick their ass, much like The Last Dab did before. Now, I’ve tried 2 different varieties of The Last Dab (both the Reaper and the Scorpion pepper varieties), though I only documented one of them. These sauces thoroughly kicked my ass. They were far too much for me to handle. The Last Dab XXX claims to be even hotter.

Honestly, everyone, I was afraid of this sauce. I’ve had the bottle actually in my possession since Saturday and I’ve simply been hemming and hawing, not really wanting to give it a go. I can’t say I’ve ever been intimidated by food so much before. But, I know what those previous sauces did to my tongue, and it’s not going to be fun trying this one. I’m not here to just blow out my taste buds. But… for science… for completeness… and for you, my audience, I valiantly took another pinkie-swab of the sauce and gave it a go.

Now, before I get to what it did to me (or, more accurately, is still doing to me, since it’s yet to quit yet, even though I’ve typed up 1.5 reviews since I had it), I want to mention that this sauce smells good. Opening up the bottle, it’s got a bright, fragrant, fresh scent to it. There’s a little bit of heat in the scent, but not nearly as much as will be assaulting you if you put the sauce in your mouth. It smells good. It smells like something you would want to eat. Honestly, a lot of sauces, since they rely very heavily on vinegar, which has a scent that I hate, I think a lot of hot sauces smell awful (I’m looking at you, Tabasco). This actually smells good. And if I didn’t know any better, I’d say, “Go ahead and just smear that all over some food and let’s eat!”

I, however, -do- know much better than that. So, all I had was a pinkie-swab. By that, I mean I put my pinkie finger over the top of the bottle, turned it over, turned it back, and then swiped my finger on my tongue.

Now, for 5 seconds (I know because I literally counted), there was a very nice flavor on my tongue. I assume that’s the mixed flavor of the three types of Pepper X that are in the sauce: Pepper X, Chocolate Pepper X, and Peach Pepper X (I should note that “chocolate” and “peach” refer to the colors of the pepper, not that their flavor in any way resembles those other food items). Those are good-tasting peppers. Over the months, I’ve learned with several different hot peppers taste like. There’s the straightforwardness of cayenne. There’s the “grassy notes” of a jalapeno. There’s the fruitiness of a habanero. And now I know what a Pepper X mixture tastes like. I wish I could handle the heat better, because it actually tastes good.

But what about after those 5 seconds? Heat. Heat, heat, and more heat. It burns. It sears. It stings. I can tell exactly where my finger was on my tongue and where it wasn’t, as well as where my tongue then touched the roof of my mouth. There’s distinct lines of pain. And it’s only just now starting to fade, about a half-hour after I actually tried the sauce.

As I stated above, I wish I had a better heat tolerance. The sauce is good, but the burn and the lingering heat is too much. What am I going to do with this sauce? I’m not entirely sure. I know it’s precious, as there aren’t a lot of Pepper Xs to go around. This was an extremely limited run of this sauce and I know it’s in very high demand. But… I don’t know how much I’ll actually be able to use it. I’m sure I’ll figure something out.

Suggested dishes: wings seem fine. Any sort of chicken would probably be good. I could see throwing a drop (and I mean just a drop) into a ranch or blue cheese dressing and spicing up a salad that way (I’ve actually been doing that with Heartbeat Red Jalapeno lately, though in larger quantities than a drop, since it’s not nearly as hot). But be warned, if you’re not a supreme spice-eater, whatever you put The Last Dab XXX on will quickly overpower whatever you’re serving.

I don’t know how often it will come into stock, but if you’re wanting to get your own bottle, it’s here on the Heatonist site. Good luck: https://heatonist.com/collections/hot-ones-hot-sauces/products/hot-ones-the-last-dab?variant=378416136201

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